How to be politically correct

Jessica Werb | Image: Jeremy Bruneel | Published: December 01, 2006 Need to know

Ah, winter. The most wonderful time of year, when eggnog and pastries fill the lunch room, popcorn garlands hang on office cubicles and HR departments start ventilating over who’s
going to be offended next. Given B.C.’s steadfast allegiance to political correctness, navigating the “holiday season” can be like skiing a triple-black-diamond run on Blackcomb. Here’s how to keep the peace and goodwill flowing smoothly.

All or nothing
When decorating the office, either go generic or be prepared to go all out. A simple “winter holiday” theme, complete with a non-denominational “holiday tree,” is your safest bet. Because if you want a Christmas tree, you’ll also need to set up a menorah and set off some Diwali fireworks for good measure. (Rajpaul Kohli of the Equal Employment Opportunities office at Vancouver City Hall reports that November and December are one long feast: shortbread, moon cakes, latkes, you name it.) If you’re not sure where to start, poll your staff and find out what holidays they’ll be celebrating. Then get their help in planning.

Leave the nativity scene at home
No matter how fervent your beliefs, bringing God into the workplace can make people uncomfortable. So avoid decorations with in-your-face religious images such as nativity scenes, and stick with the generic reindeer, snowmen and, at a push, Santa Claus. And in the spirit of equality, same goes for any images of Swami Ashokananda.

The holiday missive
Enchanted you may be by a card that plays “Away in a Manger” and includes a guardian angel pin, but if it’s received by someone who doesn’t share your love of Christmas, you run the risk of looking like a proselytizing Jesus-pusher. A cute winter scene with the message “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings” is best. The last thing you want to do is annoy an important client. (A little tip: Unicef cards are a great way to showcase your sensitive side.)

The party
Whether you call it a holiday party or Christmas party is up to you and your staff – but if you want to keep things kosher, leave out the mistletoe to avoid any embarrassing encounters and survey your staff for any dietary restrictions. Chances are there’ll be people who don’t eat pork, or beef, or meat of any kind for that matter (and let’s not forget seafood and nut allergies). The safest thing to do is ensure a vegetarian option; that way you

cover all your bases. As for carols – if you’re going to sing or play them, make sure you’ve got “I Have a Little Dreidel” on the program, too.

Money matters
If you’re having a gift exchange, make sure you enforce a strict spending limit. You don’t want staff feeling strapped and pressured into a trip to Tiffany & Co. In fact, keeping the price limit low (like, under $5) can have hilarious dollar-store results. And if you go down to zero, you’ll force people to use their imaginations. Pipe- cleaner reindeers, anyone?