Red light, green light

I want to applaud the people who are working for a better life for women in prostitution. I believe that both sides of this argument have at least some similar goals.

-Respect for all individuals, and in this case we're talking specifically about all women
-safety for those women involved in the prostitution industry.

My two cents

1. The argument that prostitution has always existed and will always exist doesn't stand up.

We wouldn't say "Child prostitution has always existed and always will, and we should just try to make the conditions better." We wouldn't say "forced prostitution has always existed and always will, and we should just try to make the conditions better.

The same argument was used against slavery. It doesn't hold up. No matter what has gone on in the past, we as individuals, and as a society are the only ones responsible for what is going to go on in the present, and what will go on in our future.

2. What happens in Victoria does have a direct correlation to what is going on in the rest of the province/country/world. We can see from what has happened in other countries who have legalized/decriminalized prostitution that it hasn't helped the most vulnerable in those countries. (I know, there's New Zealand, but it's hard to tell what's really going on there when the official reports coming out are being written by the same people who ushered in the new laws, and who have so much at stake. Other reports from people on the ground in New Zealand say exactly the opposite, and human trafficing in particular has been taken right out of the report)

I'm saying that our answer for prostitution has to be focused on the effect that it is going to have on our most vulnerable, and what we can see in every other situation is that normalizing prostitution diminishes the position of the most vulnerable.

3. I don't have the answers. And I am assuming that the women in Victoria and other places who are trying to provide safer situations for women to work in are doing what they're doing because they care about those particular women. If there were a way to ensure that women weren't being sold into the industry, that children weren't being allowed to work in the industry, that the industry was only made up of women who were happy to be doing what they're doing in a safe environment, I would definitely have to look at the proposition differently.

While the industry's existence ensures that for every woman who has things lined up the way she wants them, there is another woman who has been physically or mentally forced into violent acts against her, I can't see it any other way. Highbrow and Lowbrow prostitution don't exist in a vacuum apart from each other. While we tolerate one, we are forced to tolerate the other.

I understand that the plan in Victoria is for some of the profits to go to helping the lowbrow workers. I will choose to believe that that is more than a marketing move and it is a real plan. It seems to me that the women behind things in Victoria are sincere in their bid to help the women who work with them. (I haven't met them, and am only going by what I've read on here.) I believe that normalizing prostitution has been show to have a negative effect on the most vulnerable, and so their plan with have to be better designed than anything the world has seen so far to compensate. I think a better idea would be to decide as a society that we won't tolerate violence against our women.

I can't believe a "feminist" would support conditions where women are being bought and sold in brothels or sitting in shop windows like in Amsterdam.

Women who don't find this dehumanizing and degrading can't possibly call themselves feminists.

I am a woman and I don't want to live in a country where things like that are legal.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - Why in the World would you consider this dehumanizing and degrading?

It's people like you, who force these Women into the arms of "pimps" and organized crime. Aren't we rooted on the freedom of speech, religion and trade?

If a woman or man for that matter, chooses prostitution as a trade. She/He should have the rights that every civilian is entitled to have. It's people like you, who create negative behaviours and attitudes in the midst of societies. How about we stop fighting against crime, fighting against this/that! And maybe then the word fight will no longer be used!

I think before one states an opinion they should really educate themselves on a subject. Please, educate yourself on this industry before you open your mouth. It's not just the desperate, poor drug addicts that seek this trade. We also have very intelligent, sophisticated, by far educated women who seek this industry, love what they do, and ultimately live amazing, fulfilling lives. Some of these women do everything you do. From paying taxes, buying homes, raising children, and always seeking to improve themselves and the lives of those that surround them.

Think about this one. Sex sometimes becomes a bartered service within a marriage/relationship: Sex for love, love for sex, some find affection, comfort, warmth thru sex and some of us are at home being supported 100% by our partners/husbands - this job is called (being a housewife). Why don't we judge the job of a housewife? We should, it's job entails a lot of what a prostitute might do on a regular basis. From providing comfort to sex without the emotional attachment of course.

Lets say no to "hypocrisy" and "sexism" and support our women.

There are plenty of reasons that women lose their sex drive. It's not just women, either. It happens to men, too! I agree with you that if a wife is sexually unfulfilled, "sitting at home wondering what is wrong with her", that the last place her husband should be is with a prostitute. I wholeheartedly agree that if she is willing to work on it, he had better put in just as much into that relationship to make things work. To paint all of the relationships with that brush, however, is very close minded. I also notice that now, instead of victimizing prostitutes, you also seem to be victimizing the men who choose to visit them, and the poor, poor wives suffering miserably because of them. I wonder when the scenario of prostitution without victims will ever be the generally accepted idea in Canada?

Sure, a husband might be denied sex from his wife because he is a complete jerk, or is totally inconsiderate to her. I just don't see personality defects as grounds to punish someone as a human being. I am not suggesting that a woman who has lost interest in sex is punishing her husband by denying him sex, herself. But to deny a human being any physical outlet, in my opinion, is cruel.
I admit that many of my clients would not make the best partners, for reasons varying from: Workaholics- are always on business trips, or just working too many hours to be in a healthy relationship.
Too shy- some men are SO shy with women, that even getting in a relationship in the first place would be a feat!,
Depressed- some men are too depressed, or negative, to be appealing to women
Character "flaws"- I personally don't see them as flaws, but some people just have personality traits that are not conducive to a successful "traditional" marriage.
Unattractive/ "ugly"- Unfortunately, there are men out there that are just not attractive, physically. Although few women would be so charmed by their personalities to see past their looks, to see them as more than friends... these men are amazing clients. In my experience, they are some of the the sweetest, most appreciative gentlemen. Some people ask me "how do you handle guys that are fat and ugly?" I enjoy my time with them immensely, because it means so much to these men, to have a young, attractive woman treat them like they are the only man in my world, for the time we are together, even if they have to pay for it.

We are are all human beings, nobody is perfect. I just think that it is a blessing to be able to provide a service that forgives the imperfections that, in or out of a relationship, might be unforgivable, and let everyone enjoy that warmth and human contact, even temporarily.

There are also couples that are confronted with the illness of one of the partners, that make it impossible to have a sexual relationship anymore. I think it is so wonderful to be able to help those couples out. Sometimes it is actually the wife who arranges the appointment for her husband! And, sometimes it is the other way around, when the man is no longer physically able to have sex, and it is the wife who actually seeks my services. The husband is the one at home, but totally encouraging and supportive of his wife's exploring of her sexuality with a professional.

I had to smile when you said, " the professional prostitute will tell this klotz that he is great, there is nothing wrong with him and there must be something wrong with a wife that doesn't appreciate him. She does this to get his business, his money. In reality, prostitutes KNOW the guy is inadequate, but they encourage him because this is how they make money." I challenge my clients quite often, when I see a quirk in their personality that is obviously a turn off to their wives. And, you absolutely right: I encourage him... to work on his inadequacies! I actually feel responsible to tactfully point out and offer suggestions, that I think their wives, or anyone they are trying to be close with, would appreciate. After all, it's not like I am involved in their lives in a way that would make them as defensive or hurt, as if their friend or wife pointed it out. One example is flossing. There are quite a few men out there who don't realize how bad their breath is. I can completely understand how a wife might be adverse to kissing, and might just not know how to tell her husband without hurting his feelings. Although, I think the lack of kissing might hurt his feelings more, but anyways... So it might be awkward for a moment or two, but I tell them that their breath is bad because there is food rotting between their teeth, and no matter how much they brush, they HAVE to floss to have fresh breath! And when some of these clients never come back, I'm assuming it's because now that their breath is so fresh, their wives won't let them leave the bed! I hope, anyways...
Another example: A young guy came to see me, and near the end of our session he started to talk to me about his relationship. It was very rocky at that time, and the end was looking like it was around the corner. So I asked a few questions, and things looked quite easy to fix, from an outside perspective. I offered him some advice about "really listening" to his girlfriend, etc, and I never saw him again. About a year later, I got a phone call from this guy. "You probably don't remember me, but I saw you about a year ago when my girlfriend and I were about to break up. You gave me some advice, and I just wanted to thank you so much. We're getting married!"
I know it sounds kind of corny, but it is 100% true.

I am making an assumption here, but I doubt you personally know any prostitutes. My opinion of prostitutes used to be fed by the media, too, so I can understand where you are coming from. I had an image of what a prostitute was (note: "what" object, rather than "who" human being), a victim, a parasite, pitiful, and what the clients must have been like, sleazy, disrespecting of women, if TV, church, and popular opinion were right, which they always are... right?? I thought that it was "just not in my genetics" to be able to "do that". I believed in my opinion with everything I had. Then, when I tried it out, I had the biggest epiphany of my life. I realized that the act of prostituting myself, and my opinion or idea of what that would look like, were miles apart. How could I hold such a strong opinion, that I believed in as much as I believe that the sky is blue, when, in reality, I was just regurgitating what I had learned not from experience, but from TV? I felt ashamed. I was not ashamed of prostituting myself, but ashamed of buying in to an idea spoon fed to me by the media without questioning it. Ashamed of judging anything, or claiming to know anything about anything that I did not experience first hand. After all, does the media just spread the truth? Or, is there an agenda behind the slanted, twisted content. Just take a look at the "War on Terrorism". Do I have to elaborate?

One last thing: "But a wife, raising kids, having a carrier, worrying about finances, cooking, cleaning, shopping, taking the kids to school, etc. it is impossible to look sexy all the time." I can't count how many prostitutes do all of those things, too, and still look sexy. They are some incredibly amazing women! To be a wife, a mother, taking the kids to school, worried what would happen if someone like you happen to be on the PTA and find out, having to lead a double life for the sake of her kids growing up in a society where their mothers are judged so harshly and unforgivingly by those who really are only regurgitating what TV/ church, told them. Imagine what it might be like for her children, not victims of their mother's job, which hurts no one, but by the judgments of the parents of schoolmates, who can be so mean, especially when backed by the moral indignation of their parents. I have so much respect for prostitutes being the best moms they can be in a society that treats them like anything but.